To each his own, Live and let live

I will talk about God a bit, I know that might turn some of you away but… I will not try to shove religion down your throats. To each his own. This is just me and my experience.

Yes, I believe in God. To each his own, live and let live.  I believe because I have seen. I have faith because I know. (long and very interesting story there) I did not always have faith or believe in anything. To be honest, I was very angry and full of hatred. It took almost two decades for me to open my eyes and see what (who) had been right there beside me all of those years.

When I did take the time to stop being angry for a moment and replay my history, that’s when it hit me. Now it took something extremely horrible happening to even make me stop and replay.

Even after snapping out of it and realizing there was someone or something watching over me, I still did not quite get it. I continued to test fate. Some would say I was fearless, audacious, others would say I had a death wish.  Either way, if you think about it, they are kind of the same thing. Turns out, the latter was correct. I was not brave nor bold, not by a long shot. I just did not care, felt like I was not worth breathing the same air as everyone else. Which just so happened, many, many years later, I realized this was very selfish of me. I had people who depended on me, that needed me but I was so wrapped up in my hatred that it blinded me.

I might share that story one day but today is not that day. Moving on.

As I said before, I didn’t always believe in God or anything else for that matter. What I did know is, a lot of people I had met over the years would talk about God and having faith. How much more peaceful life was because of it. So, I decided, I wanted to have faith, I wanted to believe. How though, how could I make myself have faith and believe in a God that I never knew?  I had watched enough television, movies, over the years, (way more than any human being should), I recalled a few movies where there was a motivational speaker (character) and the phrase “Fake it till you make it”, kept popping into my head. Finally, I said, “what the hell, why not”? So, I began, attempting to pray, pretending I believed in God. I don’t believe that it “did the trick” , but it did not hurt and it did lead me to allow myself further exploration into God as well as heaven and hell. Which led to morals and values. Slowly but surely, I began to believe. I began to turn my life around and make changes of myself for the better. I even found a church I loved, rather, they found me.

Now, let me tell all of you skeptics out there, what I am about to say, will be very hard for some of you to fathom but it is real and true. The more good I did, for myself, for others, the more I began seeing even the tiniest of good things happen in my life. Sometimes, when Things got pretty tough and I thought, how, how will we feed our family, how will we pay the bills? Amazingly enough, we were able to. The money, the food, the tools, whatever it was that we were in need of, came. It came at just the right moment and in such ways I couldn’t understand. That is the beauty of faith. They say that God gives you what you need. I can, without a doubt say that this is true.  Sure, we still have hardships but they are so much easier to get through. All you have to do, is be the best person that you can be and live life the way God intended. Sure we are human, we will screw up, repeatedly, every single day. Just try not to repeat the same mistakes.

Okay, I will move on from the subject of God. Just a heads up though, I am sure he will arise here and there throughout my blogs. It is just inevitable.